Torn Between Two Lovers

Dear Wheeler,

I’m facing a very confusing situation right now. I’m torn between two guys and I can’t decide which one is better for me. I was hoping you could help me sort things out.

Guy number one and I have been going out for over two years but our relationship is complicated by the difference in our social status, the distance between our geographical locations, and his trust issues. He belongs to a well off and influential family, while I have to work hard to earn a living.

Guy number two, on the other hand, is someone that I recently met. The circumstances weren’t perfect because he was diagnosed with a terminal disease and was given a few months to live. He recovered, and told me that I was the one who inspired him to fight. He is also the first person to dedicate a song for me. I really like this guy because we appear to be very compatible with each other.

Help me choose the right person!

Janus

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Hi Janus,

If you look at the situation objectively, the obvious answer is to choose guy number 2. Except for the terminal illness, he seems to be less complicated and easier to be with. If he meant what he said about you inspiring him to live, then he must have really strong feelings for you. I’m not sure what you mean about a song dedicated to you, but if he wrote a whole song for you then that is just over the top! Guys are not known to be too emotional or showy, but it seems like guy number 2 has no issues about letting you know how he truly feels.

Guy number one, on the other hand, will give you more headaches down the road. There are just too many obstacles between the two of you. You have been seeing him for over two years but things aren’t as smooth as you would want them, are they? Being in a long distance relationship does not help, and trust is the primary requirement for such relationships to even stand a chance of survival.

But you know as much as I do that the final decision will have to be made by only one person: YOU. It doesn’t matter what anybody else says. All I can do is to give you sound advice, but ultimately it is your choice to be happy. Take a few days to really think about the situation. Make a list of pros and cons if you have to. But you need to make a decision as to who will make you happy in the end. All the issues and complications can be sorted out if you are with the right person.

My final advice: Think hard, and think fast. You don’t want to wake up one day realizing that both guys are already gone from your life.